People say, “I’m going to sleep now,” as if it were nothing. But it’s really a...– George Carlin (via xzxcuzx-me)
I want a relationship where neither side stops...
mareeps: today in yearbook this guy AJ was being really rude and disruptive so my teacher told him to act ladylike. instead of doing his usually disruptive stuff, every 30 seconds he would yell out “MY BOOBS HURT” “I NEED A MAN” “IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY BEST YOU SURE AS HELL DONT DESERVE ME AT MY WORST” “I CANT DRIVE” “WHY DOES NOBODY LOVE ME”
UK: YOU'RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART.
UK: WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A REBEL YOUNG MAN I WILL NOT STAND-
UK: WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUT THAT TEA DOWN
Gerard Way: I survived, you will too
Kids in school: He's an emo freak
Andy Biersack: You'll make it, I promise
Kids in school: He probably makes people kill themselves
Justin Bieber: Rape happens for a reason
Kids in school: He's so amazing
parents: in five years you won't even remember his last name
me: in five years it'll be my last name
I think the weirdest thing is that the person you’re going to marry and spend the rest of your life together with is currently walking the earth, living their own life, going to school or going to work or whatever, doing all these things and making all these memories that you’ll get to hear about from them years from now.
wickedpedia: When you’re playing Apples to Apples and whoever is judging picks the literal and politically correct answer.
friends: how can you cry because of a book?
friends: how can you cry because of fictional characters?
friends: how can you cry because of something that isn't even real?
friends: how can you cry because of a song?
friends: how can you cry because of lyrics?
friends: how can you cry because of a melody?
me: HOW CAN YOU NOT
grizzzlybearcub: i know i give white people a lot of shit but u guys are really nice. like when the light turns green and there’s a white pedestrian that’s almost across the street u guys always do that jog thing. i know it’s kind of insignificant but i appreciate it white people. u and ur half jog thing.
mum: hurry up i have to be somewhere
me: yanks plugs out of all electronic equipment to speed up shut down sprints out house half dressed and breaks speed limits running to car
me: hey mum i really have to be on time for this thing
mum: cleans entire house waters plants redecorates bedrooms applies for american citizenship runs for usa presidency starts a gambling ring purchases zimmer frame crawls to car forgets car keys has to crawl all the way back in house
ladyponds: dracomafloy: ronweasley: friendly reminder that since Molly took care of Harry for seven years, Lily pays her back by taking care of Fred friendly reminder that fuck you #why are ron and draco talking to each other